My Tips for Caregivers
By Cheryl Stevenson
1. I would suggest to caregivers to try not to take away skills from the ones who they are caring for, if the person is still able to do the task. Perhaps the person that you are caring for gets easily frustrated because like me, sometimes they are unable to do it correctly. Don't always think that they are unable to do the task, perhaps it just needs to be explained to them a little differently &/or shown to them 1st so they can copy how you did it. It could even take several times of showing them how it is done. I know that this takes a lot more time & patience, but the end result should be the patient's happiness! I feel that this in turn could make life easier & happier for the patient & the caregiver.
2. When spending time with a person who has a memory impairment, please treat them with respect & dignity.
3. Please learn to live in their world because they can no longer live in yours.
4. When you think or know a person who has a memory impairment is in the “fog”, try to find something that will help your loved one to relax until it passes. It might pass slowly or quickly & there is no way of knowing. Patients can get very emotional, & sometimes cry. Your loved one might become angry & or frightened because they probably don't understand what is happening to them. Just know that during this time, your loved one might not know who you are. Use a calm, soothing voice, perhaps a little less volume. Let your loved one know that you love them & that you are there for them. For me, listening to my Ipod can help me to relax & reduce the stress until the fog passes.
5. When you need to vent, try journaling. Writing has become very healing for me.
6. I think to lessen the anxiety of a person who has a memory impairment, you should go along with whatever clothing they are most comfortable with. That could vary from day to day. One day they could remember a piece of clothing & the next day not so much. If they don't remember a piece of clothing as being theirs, then they might not want to wear it. So instead of arguing with them, just help them pick something else out for them to wear.
7. I think that it helps a lot to find the humor in all of this. One day I found a roll of masking tape in my freezer & I thought, "who could have done that?" Then I remembered that I live alone. I just shook my head, took it out of the freezer & put it where it belonged, then laughed a little at myself. Laughing is so much less stress for me rather than crying.
8. If you know the person doesn't like to be reminded that they already told you something, then just pretend you have not heard it before. I know that sometimes when some one does this to me it really bothers me. I don't think that I have told them, but perhaps I should.
9. I also know that sometimes I will have some difficulty with understanding what someone is saying to me. Sometimes all I need in order to understand what someone is saying is to hear the words again or extra processing time. There are other times that having it reworded will work. But there are times when none of these things will work & that is okay. During those times, it is okay to just let it go & if it isn't that important, then it doesn't need to be said again. If it is something that is important, then perhaps you can try again at a later time.
Extra time can also help if someone is trying to search for the word in their brain that they want to say.
10. A little patience will help me to not feel as stressed!
11. If I don't remember your name or recognize you, just gently remind me how we are connected and tell me your name.
12. Don't make me feel bad that I can't remember because this is not something that I choose to happen.
13. Please be very careful using humor with the patient, because if they have any trouble understanding what is being said to them, then they could get mad, because they think that you said something hurtful to them. Once it happens, I think that it will be difficult to convince them that you didn't mean it in a bad way.