Why I had to retire from coaching a youth bowling league

April 10, 2011

I'm struggling with my decision to retire from coaching youth bowling. It is not something that I am ready to stop doing, but I don't think that I can do the best job that I've been doing for over about twenty years. I have loved doing this. I love children and I love teaching them. I will miss my Saturday mornings with them. I hate the fact that my cognition or lack of, has really made this decision for me. I guess it will take some time to get used to it. Our season just ended yesterday. I know that in the fall, when I know sign-ups will be happening, I will feel as if I should be there. I just have to find a balance so I can function the best that I possibly can. I guess change is extremely hard for me.

I won't be returning to coaching because I can no longer do what I've been doing for twenty years without forgetting so many things. It has been a tough decision because it is not really my choice, but one that I need to make for myself. I had to retire because it was getting too difficult to handle all the weekly paperwork. It was pretty much the same routine weekly and this really didn’t take me too long to get it done. The problem was that I thought that I had done the work each week. It wasn't until I looked in my notebook that I realized that I hadn't. This was happening way too often for me to deal with it. I think that what was happening is that I would think that I had already done the weekly paperwork but in reality, I was probably remembering a week in the past that I had done it. Luckily, I managed to make it through the end of the season, then I announced my retirement. I think that all of this takes me a little under an hour, so time is not the problem. The problem is my short-term memory problems. I would usually do these things on Friday night in preparation for Saturday morning league. But over the past season or perhaps longer, I have been noticing different problems. On Friday night, I thought of doing the paperwork but then I thought that I had already done it. In reality it wouldn't get done!

I think that what was happening was that I wasn't remembering doing this work over the past week, but rather from weeks ago because I mostly struggle with my short-term memory. There were even times on Saturday mornings that I would look in the bag with the binder with all of my league paperwork in it and be shocked that it hadn't been done! I had to quickly go onto my computer and get it done that morning before the league! It was becoming more difficult for me to get things done even though I had been doing it for twenty years. This was adding way too much stress to my life so that forced this decision. The fact that I have always wanted to do my best job for the bowlers who I'm coaching and I am not feeling like I can do that anymore. That just breaks my heart.

I think that it will just take some time for me to get used to not coaching anymore. It makes me very sad to give up doing something that I truly love! I have to be mindful of things that cause my cognition to not be stable. One of those things is taking on too much at once.

For the past three years I have been coaching on Saturday and working two jobs. I think that it was just too much for me!