Why I had to stop trying to read novels

I think that what most people don't understand is how simple tasks can be extremely difficult and very frustrating for someone who is living with a memory impairment. Years ago, a task that I could complete pretty quickly and easily has now either become much more difficult and challenging for me or it has become impossible. One example of this is that I can no longer enjoy reading a novel. That is because I can't remember what I read from one page to the next and sometimes from one paragraph to the next. That makes it impossible for me to follow a story line. When this first started happening, I tried to reread what I had forgotten. That became very frustrating for me because it just didn’t work. I also have problems with comprehension and that can make this task a disaster!

I became very frustrated and stressed! I had to make the decision to give up reading novels.

I don’t feel that meant that I’m giving up but rather accepting that this is the best choice for me. Trying to read a book just created too much anxiety and stress for me. That is not something that I should be doing to myself. Sometimes when that happens, the mild cognitive impairment symptoms, such as the fog is greatly increased. That is something that I try to avoid! I tend to not give up easily, so it took quite a lot for me to make this decision.

I think that anyone who is diagnosed with a memory impairment has to do what is best for them. At first, this was very sad because I really love to read. Over time, I have accepted this decision and I know that this is the right one for me. Most of the time, I try not to let it bother me because I try to focus on what I can still do rather than what I can't. That doesn't mean that I don't still miss reading a novel. I miss it a lot but I just try not to let it bother me.

Once in a while, I will read books that have very short stories of about one to three pages. Most of the time I can follow a storyline from these books but there are times when I have to read a story more than once in order for me to understand what I have read. Several months or years later, it will be like a new book for me. That is because most of the stories, I will not even remember.

People have suggested that I try audio books, but so far, I have not done that. I know that I'm a visual learner, so perhaps if I try audio books I should also follow along with the printed copy.

I can still make these decisions for myself and I will continue to do so when it is absolutely necessary. These are not decisions that are easy to make and I won't make them unless it is absolutely necessary. I can be stubborn which is a good thing because it means that I don’t give up easily. This was not an easy decision for me to make but one that I thought long and hard about.