A customer said that he had Some-timers Disease

This afternoon, my shift as a cashier started out like any other shift, but thirty minutes later it quickly changed. I greeted a male customer, who appeared to be in his 60’s. I said, “Hi, how are you?”, He seemed pleasant. He said something like, “you are probably doing better than I am”. Then nothing could have prepared me for what he was about to say. This customer said something like, “I have something called Some timers Disease. He said that it is better than Alzheimer’s because you only have it sometimes! “He continued with, “the plus side is that you get to make new friends quite often!”

Although I sometimes struggle with comprehension problems, I don’t think that I had a problem understanding what he was saying, but unlike him, I found no humor in it. I told him that what I had, I really wasn’t able to take a break from it, but rather it was always a part of my life. I don’t think that he responded to me. At this point, I just continued to scan and bag his items. I didn’t know whether I wanted to YELL at him, scream, or just cry!! Of course, I didn’t do any of these things.

As he was leaving my register, I wondered if I had missed an opportunity to educate him about what it is really like to live with a memory impairment. Since I try to avoid conflicts and I wasn’t prepared for what I had just heard, I just let it go and I didn’t respond any further to him.

After he left my register, I didn’t have any customers for a few minutes, so I started writing down what had just happened. Later on, in my shift, I had time to reflect on this transaction and I felt like someone had just broken my spirit! It was as if he had taken something from me, something that I had not given him permission to take. I also felt angry and sad inside! His words hurt deep in my soul!

I felt as if I had done something wrong, but yet I knew that it wasn’t me who had done that! This brief encounter had left me with a sense of utter sadness and hurt! I wondered what I could have done or said differently! Out of all the registers that he could have gone to, why did he end up at mine?

The strange thing is I think that he really was a nice man, but obviously he didn’t have a clue as to what he was talking about. I didn’t hate this man for how he had made me feel! I know that it was probably not his fault and that he didn’t know that what he was saying was totally wrong and hurtful.

Luckily, I was working behind another cashier who I’m close to and she knows about my diagnosis. She saw me writing on a piece of paper and I told her that I was just journaling. Then I told her a little about the customer at my register. She couldn’t believe that someone could say those things, but she knew that I was telling her the truth. I was able to stay calm and complete my four-hour shift.

It was not until the quiet ride home, that I began to cry in my car. I was a little surprised by this and at first, I couldn’t figure out why it was happening but then it hit me. I had either forgotten what had happened or I was just able to hold things together at my job! I cried briefly while driving home from work, but then I put the music on to relax me. I’m not really sure I’ve processed the impact that this man had on me tonight, but it still upsets me.

I don’t think that I’m angry at him, but angry and sad that this is the way society is with these diseases. Why is there such a stigma when someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia? Why should a person feel bad for things they have no control over? What can we all do to change this? How long will it take?