Not remembering if I told my boyfriend that I love him

The other night, my boyfriend and I were watching tv I told him how much I loved him. I also said that I wanted to make sure that I told him. I said that I really didn’t remember if I had told him today or not. Then he said, do you remember me telling you several times today how much I love you. I was not prepared for this. It felt like there was a blank look on my face. I hadn’t remembered him telling me that he loved me today!

The tears just started rolling down my face because it just breaks my heart. I know that I have a memory impairment but I don’t think that I am in denial. This just hurts so bad. I try not to worry about things that I have no control of, but when this happens, I wonder if I’m going to be able to have a successful relationship with someone.

I just tried to watch the tv, trying not to have him notice that I was crying. Then we hugged and it helped me to feel better. I wasn’t really sure if he saw that I was crying. The next day we were talking on the phone, and we were talking about yesterday. Then I told him that last night I had been upset and he was concerned and he wanted to know why. I told him that it wasn’t anything that he had done or said, but rather about me. I told him about our conversation that made me upset. He told me that he doesn’t like to tell me things and then find out later that I don’t remember. He said that he never wants me to feel bad about it. He said that I need to go easy on myself and not get so upset when I forget things. I told him sometimes that isn’t so easy to do, but that I would try.

We have been dating for almost eight months. I do remember him telling me early on, not to worry about remembering all of the details of our time together. He told me to remember how it makes me feel.

I just know that there will be disagreements between us because of my lack of cognition. Perhaps I’ll be hurt because I don’t remember when the last time, he told me that he loved me. Will I believe him when he tells me that he says I love you all the time?

I would say that for the most part, I function fairly well and if I don’t tell someone about my memory impairment, they probably wouldn’t know unless they spent a lot of time with me. Then they might notice that something wasn’t quite right.