My frustration with my lack of comprehension

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I went to the driving range. I know that I have been to a driving range before but it has been many years. We have gone miniature golfing together but never to the driving range.

I sat and watched him hit the golf balls. Then he showed me how to hold the golf club. I have a memory impairment, so I will sometimes struggle with my comprehension. I know what the words are because I can read them if I see them, but sometimes understanding them is so frustrating for me! Luckily, he is so understanding and all I have to say is that I don’t understand something that he has said and he will explain it differently.

He was using his words to explain how to grip the golf club, plus he was demonstrating with his hands but without the golf club. I knew that this wasn’t making sense to me, so I asked him to please put my hands the way that they needed to be on the club. Without asking any questions, he did as I had asked. I hit the golf ball a few times and I had fun doing it!

When he was done, we went to the putting green. He was explaining about when I hit the ball, the “face” wasn't the right way, so the ball didn’t go towards the hole. I’m not really sure if I’ve ever heard about the “face” of a golf club before, so this really didn’t make sense to me either. I looked at him and I told him that I had no clue what “face” meant. He picked up the golf club and he showed me what he meant. I’m not sure that I was 100% clear on this face thing, but I could feel that I might be getting upset, so I just had fun putting! I was able to relax and not worry so much, so it was a very good day! I didn't really care about the "face."

He continues to be patient, kind and loving. He will never tell me that I’m repeating something to him for a second, third, fourth or whatever time because he doesn’t want to make me feel bad. I’m truly grateful that he knows how to react to these things. I think that we learn from each other every day.

Sometimes when I’m struggling with my comprehension and I’m trying really hard to understand things and it just isn’t working, I can get so frustrated! Sometimes I have what I call a “meltdown”! This involves tears and sometimes I just want to be by myself for a while. This is something that I like to avoid since it creates way too much drama, which I don’t particularly enjoy!

It is not until my meltdown is over that I can really think about it. This time I realized that I probably overreacted. What I now understand is, I really can't help it. I don't know why this happens, except I think it is when my comprehension is not good and also when I'm very foggy. He has been with me at least once when I had a meltdown. I remember that I was slamming doors and crying uncontrollably! We talked about it afterwards. He was very understanding. I continue to educate him on what it is like for me.