About the fog

Last night, I realized that Friday night was a bit foggy for me. It started with me not being able to follow conversations with my boyfriend. Then later, we were having dinner at a restaurant and things just seemed weird to me. I got really quiet and he probably just thought that I was tired. One part of me knew and remembered him, yet another part of me was unsure.

I tried to explain this to him. I told him that when this happens to me, I feel so disconnected from him and that makes me so sad! I told him that sometimes when I become really quiet, I'm not tired, but rather there is something wrong. He said that he is always there for me and that I need to try to explain it to him when I can so that he can help me through it. I told him that there are times when I will try to hide my symptoms from him and he asked me why I would do that. I said that I really didn't know the answer to that.

I told him that sometimes I just want to hold out my hands and try to catch the words before they are lost forever! I was feeling confused, angry and a feeling of helplessness!

The only reason that I'm able to share these thoughts is because I wrote this down on paper soon after I thought about this. Otherwise, most if not all of the details would have been gone. I have learned to write things down when I think of them.