The Fog

(Chapter 9 The Fog in my book)

Last Thursday my boyfriend and I were spending some time together. I thought that things seemed fine with my cognition, but I soon found out otherwise. He asked me a question and I kind of giggled and said that I have no clue.” Then I asked him, should I be able to answer that question?” and he said, “yes”. I told him that was not going to happen. It was then that we both realized that I was in a fog. We didn't talk about the fog, but I think that we both knew that it had arrived.

The words that he said were not making sense to me, so there was no way for me to answer his question. This often happens and we both never seem to get used to it, we have just learned to accept it. Neither of us can change this, so we just learn how to deal with it.

On this particular day, I don't think that the fog lasted very long and before I knew it, I was feeling like “me” again. Sometimes the fog can last for only a few moments and at other times it is with me for at least an hour or more. When the fog is very brief, it is not as upsetting to me, but when it lasts a while, it can be very upsetting for me to deal with. Sometimes I will be clingy with him and sometimes I will cry. At times, I will do both.

Sometimes I will isolate myself, not wanting him to know what is happening to me. There are times when the fog is very thick. During these times, I'm unable to tell someone what is happening to me. My boyfriend is learning how to pick up on the clues that will tell him that I'm in the “fog”. He has told me that sometimes, I will be just staring into space, have a glassy look in my eyes, will not react to his words and basically, I will be in my own little world. He will try to talk to me, but I cannot respond. When he realizes that I'm in the fog, he will let me know that he is there and that everything will be okay, that I'm safe and very loved!