How important are routines for me?
(Chapter 6 Living with a Memory Impairment in my book)
For me, a routine is very important in helping me to function the best that I can. When I was working as a special education para educator for twenty-one years, there were many times when my schedule would get changed without any notice. Sometimes when that happened to me, I would have to take a minute, go into the ladies’ room and have a good cry! I wanted to just leave and go home because I didn't know how I was going to deal with changes that happened so abruptly. Unfortunately, I didn't really have a choice, so I just had to do my best and adjust to the changes in my schedule. It was very stressful for me to deal with this very often during any given school year. If I knew ahead of time that changes were coming soon with my schedule, I could be better prepared and that would help my brain adjust to the changes. I would have less stress and anxiety related to the change.
On one particular morning, I remember that soon after I got to school, my case manager told me that she needed me to cover a second-grade classroom so that the teacher could go to an IEP meeting. This sudden change turned out to be horrible for me to deal with! This was a classroom that I was not working in this school year. I was unfamiliar with the classroom, students and the curriculum. When I got into the classroom and I saw the notes left by the teacher, I just wanted to cry! To start with, I had to get my bearings, because I was in an unfamiliar classroom. This consists of me looking around the room, the coat area, teacher's desk and student’s desks. I needed to get familiar with the placement of all these things in this classroom, but there was no time for me to do so! I felt so overwhelmed!
Luckily, there was another para educator in the room and I knew her. She must have seen my face, because she came over to talk to me. She asked me if I was okay and I said, “NO, because I don't think that I can do this!” I showed her the note left by the teacher and she told me that she worked in that classroom all the time. She said that she could cover for the teacher, if I could assist the students that she was assigned to. I told her that would definitely work for me, so she pointed out the students who I would be helping. I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my chest and I could breathe again. This change was something that I now could handle with very little problems. I thanked her and I was so very grateful that she was there.
I'm not sure what would have happened if this other para educator had not been in this classroom with me. I don't even want to think about the possibility of me having a meltdown in front of the second-grade students. I know that before I had symptoms of (MCI) Mild Cognitive Impairment that this situation would not have been a problem for me. I would have been able to adjust to the changes without stress or anxiety. Unfortunately, this has all changed for me and I just do the best that I can because I can't change my brain back to the way it once was. I am pretty sure that this para educator knows a little about my diagnosis.