Degrees of the “fog”
(Chapter 9 The Fog in my book)
With me, I can have different degrees of fog. Thin fog is when I can function fairly well and I probably don't realize that things aren't quite right until I have trouble remembering something. I can be in and out of the thin fog for a day or more, and then go back to my "normal." During the thin fog, I'm just going about my day, just having a few problems with my memory from time to time, but it is not a big deal. It is not affecting me that much.
When I'm in the medium fog, I'm more aware of it and I might be struggling with recognizing people. Medium fog is lasting much longer and happening more frequently. It can impact my life a little more than the thin fog. Conversations with people are becoming a challenge. That might help me to notice the fog.
Heavy fog is when I'm usually very aware that I'm in the fog. It is as if there is a thin see-through wall separating me from the world around me. If someone is with me, I'm aware they are there, but communication is very limited if at all. Sometimes when I'm in the thick fog, I might not recognize where I am or who I'm with. When the heavy fog rolls in, it can last from only a couple minutes to much longer. When I'm in the thick fog, I'm not able to do much and most of time communicating is difficult and sometimes impossible. I'm usually very aware that I'm in the "fog" and I just try to stay calm. I tell myself that everything will be okay. If I'm home while this is happening, I'm just sitting on my couch, waiting for the fog to pass. Listening to music will usually help me to relax. The thick fog makes everything other than breathing much more difficult for me! Sometimes when I'm in the thick fog it feels as though I am in a tunnel.
After I come out of the fog, I'm usually able to talk about what was happening to me. I can usually journal about it soon afterwards, but if I wait too long to write about it, the words are lost forever! The "fog" can be very scary, especially the thick fog!
Someone close to me once described the thick fog like this, "my eyes are glassy and I am staring into space. “I seem to be with them, in body only, but my mind is definitely somewhere else. Even though we are sitting right next to each other, we are miles apart. The fog creates this distance between us.