My worries about being a new grandmother

(Chapter 23 Living with a memory impairment and being a Nana in my book)

Four days ago, I became a grandmother for the first time to twin girls. Since the day that I found out that they arrived and what their names were, I have been trying to get their names into my long-term memory. Because I live with a memory impairment, that is very difficult and sometimes impossible to do. I find myself saying their first and middle names out loud several times a day, hoping that their names will one day flow very easily from my memory. For some reason, one baby's name is much easier for me to remember and the other one is more of a challenge. Right now, I can remember Ava's name more easily than Ellie’s.

When I found out that my daughter was pregnant, then found out it was twin girls, I was very excited but concerned. I was concerned that if my granddaughters looked too much alike, that I would never be able to tell them apart. Now that they are born, right now there are slight differences in their facial features, such as one baby has a rounder face and one has darker hair. But at this moment, I really can't remember which baby has a rounder face or darker hair. I'm hoping that as they get older, their physical differences will just get stronger. They are most likely fraternal twins. I am hoping that the more time that I spend with my granddaughters, the more that I will be able to tell them apart. This is so very important for me to be able to do.

On Wednesday I spent three and a half hours at the hospital with them and their parents and I took lots of pictures. As I look at these photos on my computer, if I didn't have them labeled with their names, I wouldn't even know who was who. When I took the pictures at the hospital, I wrote notes about which baby was on the left and right in the pictures, or if it was only one baby, their name. Otherwise, I would have no clue.

I know that when I talked to my younger son on the phone after the babies were born, I told him that I was trying to remember their names. He told me that I would probably be able to do that and I told him that I wasn't so sure, but I am going to do my best to make it happen.

Update: On Sunday Dec. 17th, my daughter called me and asked if I could come over the next day to help with the twins and I said, "what time do you need me?" I told her when she was pregnant that if she ever needed any help to just let me know and I would be there. When I arrived at my daughter and son-in-law's home, my son-in-law was holding one baby. I asked him who he was holding and he said, "guess." I went over to look at the sleeping baby in the bassinet. I said to my son-law-law, while pointing to the baby in the bassinet, “her hair is darker, so I think this is Ellie, so you must be holding Ava.” He said, “you are correct.” I guess that I had a 50/50 chance of being right, but I'm still so glad that I figured it out. I'm hoping that as I spend more time with the babies, that I will be able to tell them apart because there are facial differences, but those might change over time. While I was there helping with the babies, I noticed that Ellie was always sleeping in the bassinet on the left and Ava was on the right. That night, before I left, my daughter told me that the next night her husband was going to his company's Christmas party and she wanted me to come back and help. She told me what time that she needed me, so on Tues. I helped again with the babies. I was able to tell them apart while I was there. I don't think that I'm going to see her until Christmas eve, when we are having dinner at her home, so it will be six days until I see the twins again. Hopefully, I will still be able to tell them apart. But for the most part, I'm going to enjoy each and every minute that I'm blessed to spend with these precious gifts.

I just need to get their names into my long-term memory. If I can only remember one of their names, my other granddaughter might think that I care more about her sister than her. This is my fear when they are older, so I will be working very hard to remember their names.